


Partners in crime

by ILookDaftWithOneShoe



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, SOME SERIOUS THOR 2 SPOILERS BITCHEZ, Sometimes the easy way out is still the best way out, immoral!Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 01:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILookDaftWithOneShoe/pseuds/ILookDaftWithOneShoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"We'll go start our own Avengers. With blackjack. And hookers," Loki purred.</em>
</p><p>Post Thor 2, Loki comes to Tony with a sorely tempting offer. All it involves is finally letting go of his vestiges of morality.</p><p>(Serious Thor 2 spoilers. Don't come whining to me and saying I didn't warn you)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Partners in crime

**Author's Note:**

> FUCKING THOR 2 SPOILERS. I'M SAYING IT AGAIN FOR GOOD MEASURE.
> 
> A vague idea I've had since I saw Thor 2 a few weeks ago. (I've seen Only Lovers Left Alive as well; you jealous?)
> 
> This is also post Iron Man 3.

Tony awoke to a heavy weight pressing down on him.

"Pep?" he mumbled sleepily. Morning sex, bonus.

"Not quite," an old, authorative voice said.

Tony's eyes snapped awake to see a bearded, one-eyed man leaning over him, dressed in the gold and leather so typical of Asgardians. He vaguely resembled Thor, and with the single eye...

"Odin?!" Tony blurted in shock.

There was a moment of incurably tense silence - the king of Asgard was pinning Tony to his bed, there wasn't really an acceptable course of action - before the king's visage shimmered and was replaced by none other than Loki's. He looked almost the same as last time Tony had seen him, barring his longer hair and slightly more unhinged expression.

Tony's unease and confusion was replaced by blunt terror, but he quashed it down. He could panic later.

"So, uh, it's been a few years. How are you? How's, uh - how's prison treating you?" Tony said. "Doesn't look like you're where you're supposed to be. You didn't have anything to do with that Twilight Zone whirlpool over Greenwich, did you?"

"That was Thor," Loki informed him coolly, casually. "I was indisposed."

"Okay," Tony said, trying to make his brain work. First's things first. "Where the fuck have you put Pepper?"

"She wasn't here when I arrived," Loki said smoothly, and Tony couldn't tell if he was lying.

Another deep breath for Tony. He needed to be calm, regardless of the psychopathic alien on his chest who probably wanted revenge. "Look, if you're here for a quickie, I'd normally be up for that, but you're crazy and I'm taken, so it's not going to work out."

"Oh, not today, Stark," Loki said lowly. "I'm here to remind you of something you once told me. Firstly, that there was no throne for me, and secondly, that there was no way I was coming out on top."

He shifted slightly, making his little perch on top of Tony a little more comfortable.

"Here I am, coming out on top," Loki said with a feral grin, gesturing to their current position. "And I've found myself a throne, as the king of Asgard."

"Well done," Tony said, surprisingly honestly. "You're not really the king, though. If you're pretending to be Odin, then no one respects you. They just like the face you're putting on."

"In my humble opinion, it really doesn't matter," Loki replied. "I'm giving orders and they're followed. Whether or not I use that old bastard as a figurehead is irrelevant."

"Why the fuck are you sitting on me and telling me all this? Not to be rude or anything, but can't you tell your reflection or something?" Tony said.

"Because I have an offer for you, my _dearest_ Stark," Loki grinned.

"Not interested," Tony said.

"You will be," Loki said. "You caught my interest during my invasion. This is a one-of-a-kind, one man offer. Join me."

"Still not interested," Tony said. He had a moral code now. Or he thought he did.

Loki looked like he was thinking over his next words, but Tony knew it was for show. "Anthony Edward Stark, son of Maria and Howard Stark, the latter of which helped create Captain America's unique physiology," he began. "I think that proves my interest in you. Quite simply, you are a man who disguises immorality as heroics. I know that you act out of your best interests first and selflessness second. This is an appeal to your best interests. I have the might of Asgard's armies behind me. What happens when I convince the war council that Midgard would be better under my thumb like the rest of the Nine Realms? The Avengers lose."

"You can't."

"I can and I will," Loki said coyly. "It's good to be king. But here I am, your gracious monarch, offering you the chance to join the winning team now."

"Why?" Tony asked. It was as good a question as any.

"You interest me," Loki stated bluntly. "Also, _you_ are the one who holds the power on Midgard. Not Fury, not your president, no governing body. You, Stark, with your money and popularity and weapons and the face of Iron Man. The world knows and trusts you, whether rightly or wrongly."

"So you need me to polish the proverbial turd that is an Asgardian invasion," Tony said. "Why do you want Midgard anyway?"

"I don't need you. I'd like you around," Loki corrected. "I want Midgard because it's the only realm not under Asgard's control. Also, it's a fitting 'fuck you' to Thor."

Tony laughed involuntarily at that. Everything he knew of Loki confirmed that he was a typical little brother in many ways, just on a godlike scale.

"You're asking me to stab everything and everyone I love, just to come out on the winning side?" Tony confirmed.

"You make it sound so dramatic," Loki said, ironically with a theatrical sigh. "But yes."

"What happens to the Avengers?"

"We'll go start our own Avengers. With blackjack. And hookers," Loki purred.

"I understood that reference. Where are you pulling all these Earth phrases from?" Tony asked.

"Here and there," Loki said elusively. "I'll return in a week for your answer."

With that, he surprised Tony by pressing the chasest of kisses to his lips.

Then he vanished as suddenly as he had appeared.

 

Tony didn't get what had just happened, especially the kiss. Maybe Loki had been deadly serious when he'd said Tony had caught his interest.

He's had come out of that surprisingly relaxed. His panic had ebbed strangely in the middle; Loki had seemed so sincere, but he couldn't trust him. The man-god-thing was the God of Lies for a reason. It wasn't the kind of nickname you picked up casually.

And yet...

He wasn't going to get back to sleep again, so Tony crawled out of bed and asked JARVIS for Pepper's location.

She was in the guest room. His nightmares must've been too much again. They didn't sleep in the same bed a lot recently.

They'd been slipping away from each other; Tony couldn't, despite his best efforts, give up Iron Man so easily.

He should report Loki's presence and plans to SHIELD, but he didn't feel like it.

_Just a little moral jump, huh, Loki?_

**Author's Note:**

> Loki used Earth slang in Thor 2. I want to know what the deal was there.
> 
> Anyway. Comments? Random sneezes? It's all good.


End file.
